Cultural Lesson
by Lavender Cat
Summary: "No doubt lingered in Starscream's processor. He detested Earthling music."


"…_take me down like I'm a domino!"_

No doubt lingered in Starscream's processor. He _detested _Earthling music. Especially the slag Knock Out currently insisted on blasting over the frequency.

He found it quite hard to believe that he had summoned the red and white mech to the Nemesis for his medical expertise. Outside of his domain of the medbay, Knock Out was pretty much the biggest pain in the aft Starscream had ever known. Arrogant, vain, and defiant beyond all reason, the medic spent his free time either buffing himself to a blinding sheen or aggravating Starscream to the point that he was certain his helm would explode.

Of course, that had yet to happened, but Knock Out was also nothing if not determined.

At that particular moment, the medic's weapon of choice was his alt mode radio, turned up to a deafening volume, spouting out the most wretched garbage Starscream had ever had pummel his audio receptors. This had been going on for at least half a vorn now, ever since Starscream had noticed Knock Out was missing (_again_), this time with his lumbering assistant Breakdown in tow. Attempting to contact them via comm link in the bridge had proven a simple effort, but ultimately a very bad idea.

Knock Out had let Starscream belittle him for maybe a good half a klik. Then, any and all of his complaints were swallowed up by that Primus-awful noise. Along with his affinity for street racing with the squishies, Knock Out seemed to have developed a liking for their pathetic excuses for music.

"Will you turn off that infernal racket and pay attention!" He knew trying to continue his tirade would get him absolutely nowhere. However, he also had a distinct lack of options at the moment. "I have told you time and time again, Knock Out, that you are to report to _me_ before you decide to run off and gallivant with the flesh creatures!"

"I think the natives use the phrase 'better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission', _herr kommandant_," Knock Out replied. Starscream could just _hear _the vain glitch smirking over the link. "Besides, you could do with a little…cultural lesson."

Starscream growled quietly as he heard the opening notes of another song. Knock Out turned his attention from his fuming commanding officer and happily squawked, "Oh, I love this one." As difficult as it was for Starscream to believe, the music got even _louder_. And this time, Knock Out started singing along. Badly.

"Just shoot for the stars/if it feels right/then aim for my heart…"

This went on for a few more seconds, Knock Out merrily following the words, either oblivious to or completely ignoring the growing fury of the Seeker on the other end of the comm. Finally, Starscream, turning his attention to Breakdown, shouted, "Can't _you_ do something to shut him up!"

The armored car in question chuckled to himself. True, he didn't much care for the human music his partner had grown to enjoy. He liked his tendency to sing along even less. But it was incredibly amusing listening to Starscream blow a few circuits over it. Driving the sleek flyer to distraction was one of the few enjoyments they had on the bleak warship.

Far be it from him to rob Knock Out of his favorite hobby.

"Sorry, Starscream," he said, attempting to hide the mirth in his voice. "But if I _could _make him stop, don't you think I would have?" The question was punctuated by Knock Out's off-key belting of the chorus, which had…something to do with a…thing called a "jagger".

The air commander growled again, his anger mounting. "Knock Out! I demand you turn off that inane rubbish _this instance_ and return to base," he shrieked over the comm link. To his shock, the music was abruptly cut off. He thought for a moment, perhaps, Knock Out had tired of his game and cut the frequency. No, that wasn't it; he could still hear the rumble of the sports car's engine. It was faint, but it was there.

The silence stretched on for another klik or two, and Starscream nearly jumped when Knock Out's smooth, snide voice passed over the link. "Well, Breakdown," the medic purred, "it seems our _dear _commander doesn't like my music."

The armored car gave a snort of laughter in response. Starscream wasn't sure he liked where this was going. Before he could voice his objections to whatever Knock Out was planning, the medic continued. "Maybe we should find something a little…more his style, hmm?" Again, a snort of laughter was the only response. Starscream could have sworn that the massive blue mech was trying his hardest not to burst into a hysterical fit of giggles. "You'll enjoy this, commander." The medic now addressed him. "We only save this one for special occasions."

Another moment of silence passed before Starscream heard the opening strains of another song. He groaned loudly into the comm link, but paused when he realized that the song sounded…distinctly different. It wasn't fast-paced and bouncy like Knock Out's usual fare. It was much slower, played on an instrument the humans called a piano. Starscream found he could only blink - this wasn't all that bad. In fact, this sounded rather…well, not good, but definitely not as horrendous as those other songs Knock Out forced on him.

Of course, Knock Out picked _that _moment to start singing again.

"Just a small town girl/living in looooonely world/she took the midnight train going aaaaanyyywheeeeeere," the medic crooned. He then said to Breakdown, "Take it, buddy, you know the words!"

To Starscream's eternal amazement, Breakdown did indeed start singing, his deep voice sending vibrations through the link. "Just a city boy/born and raised in south Detroooooit/he took the midnight train going aaaaaaanyyywheeeeeeere."

It was then that Starscream heard the tapping. It was a quiet noise, but it seemed to be coming from somewhere around the vicinity of his feet. Looking down, he was surprised to find he was tapping his foot along with the music. It didn't horrify him as much as he thought it would, so he continued. Knock Out and Breakdown continued their sing-along, waxing lyrical about wine and cheap perfume, whatever in Primus' name that meant.

He felt a strange swaying motion, only a little taken aback that he had begun to swing his hips in time to the music. It horrified him even less than the foot tapping, so on he swayed, listening to the two ground-based soldiers sing about strangers, shadows, and "streetlight people", rolling the dice and living to find emotion.

Despite himself, Starscream had to admit it - this blasted song was intoxicating. So much so that it hadn't entirely dawned on him that he'd begun flat out _dancing._

At least, not until he noticed the familiar form of Soundwave, standing ever vigilantly and silently, out of the corner of his optic. Letting out a surprised screech, Starscream ceased his dancing and spun to meet the mech head on. His surprised yelp must have caught Knock Out and Breakdown's attention, because he heard them both shout through their links, their words of concern over what the frag was happening falling over each other into a jumbled mess.

Starscream stood frozen, like a turbofox caught in a searchlight, his mortification outweighing all other functions. "S-Soundwave," he finally managed to sputter. "Um…heh…how…how long have you been…um…this isn't what you think…I…they…"

Primus, this was only making it worse!

Soundwave, naturally, did not say a word, but swiftly turned on his heels and headed out of the bridge. The embarrassed Seeker stared after him for a few more moments, waiting until the scout was safely on the other side of the bridge door, before he allowed himself to release his intakes and relax.

Knock Out and Breakdown were still babbling into his comm, trying to get a response and explanation out of him. His raging annoyance renewed, Starscream tapped back into the link. "Either you two glitches drag your sorry afts back here _now_, or I will track you down and reduce you to scrap metal myself," he growled menacingly before closing the link and stalking out of the bridge, seething.

The two mechs drove in silence on the empty desert road they occupied for several kliks. Finally, Knock Out spoke up, "I think it's safe to say Soundwave did his part."

Breakdown smirked. "You really think he caught him dancing?"

The red sports car slammed his brakes, then swerved to turn to the direction from which they had just come. "You heard how fragged off he sounded. Either Soundwave made good on the favor we requested of him, or Megatron has undergone a miraculous recovery and is threatening to show Starscream the business end of his fusion cannon."

"Good point," Breakdown admitted, following his friend's example and turning around. The pair took off back down the road, another silence enveloping them. Breakdown then quietly added, "You do realize that he probably _is _going to reduce us to puddles of slag when we get back."

"Not if we threaten to show the Vehicons his glorious dancing debut, he won't," Knock Out practically sang back. He let out a chuckle. Breakdown responded with one of his own. It was not long before the two had burst out in hearty belly laughs so strong they had to pull over to the side of the road and wait for them to subside. The image of Starscream shaking his curvy hips to the music was decidedly _un_helpful.

**Fin**

**A/N: Oh, you mechs; you so sassy! Anyway, this is just a goofy little oneshot thingy to A) pass time, B) prove I am indeed still alive, and C) debut my newfound love for this freaking franchise. Yeah, in my absence, I stumbled upon **_**Prime**_**, which was kind of a gateway drug to every other Transformers cartoon ever. Hope you enjoyed my first foray into Transformers geekery.**

**Cheers,**

**Lavender Cat**


End file.
